Formal wear
I was invited to a somewhat swanky Christmas party this year and, wanting to make certain I fit in and am not an embarrassment to the lovely lady who invited me, asked what to wear. I’m told that it’s “kind of formal”. We joked a bit about a tuxedo – it’s not that formal, coat and tie or a suit will work, she said.
But I do own a tuxedo. Many people don’t. And those that do own a tuxedo likely don’t have one like mine…
Many moons ago I was dating this lovely, brilliant, beautiful young woman who was Greek – not from Europe, but rather, she was the president or Grand Dame or Lustrous Potentate or Sacred Virgin of the Rhodes College Panhellenic Council. Or maybe she was just in charge of The Ball. It’s important to write The Ball as a proper noun because for a few weeks of my life it was all-important (even though I wasn’t Greek; I was and am a proud independent). It was important to her so the Rhodes Panhellenic Ball was important to me.
I was told to dress “formally”. Being the cosmopolitan high-society guy that I am, I asked, “black tie or white tie?” I know the difference, you know. The answer I got was some sort of baleful stare – I’m not certain what that meant, but asking around, it seemed that a dark suit was probably formal enough (but there would be tuxedos as well).
This presented several wonderful opportunities… of course, I rented a very striking deep-charcoal tux with tails and a patterned vest and matching tie. I also went tuxedo shopping at the DAV (Disabled American Veterans Thrift Store) on Summer Ave.
The DAV is (or was) like a Goodwill on steroids – people leave the NICEST clothes there. Thousand dollar suits and fur coats. I know of several first-year lawyers with amazing wardrobes supplied entirely by the DAV. I was sure I could find a tuxedo of my very own.
I can’t remember who shopped with me, but we went through racks and racks of suits (they didn’t have a separate tuxedo section). There were bright tuxes, tails, frock coats, and all manner of wedding tux. I finally found a tux that was just screaming to be bought. I tried it on. It was a perfect fit…
The lapels were straight 70s, the velvet was chocolate brown. The bow-tie was a droopy clip-on. The pants had this audacious brown stripe down the sides. I was in love.
Scared that someone else might snatch this treasure from my grasp, I hurried to the checkout counter – and parted with (if I remember correctly) $27 total (which included a creamy white shirt).
The night of The Ball arrived and I was clean, pressed, and dressed. I had mints, flowers, and the power to stop people dead in their tracks wearing my cream colored tuxedo with brown velvet lapels and a brown velvet bow-tie. Yes sir – I was groovin’. I could hear the theme from Shaft in my head.
I bee-bopped across campus and rapped my knuckles against her door. She opened the door smiling and smelling wonderful… dressed to the nines in a beautiful strapless gown. And then she actually looked at me. And she slammed the door.
I stood there a moment and considered what next to do. Thankfully, the door opened again… “You rented THAT to wear to The Ball?????” Smiling I said, “No, I bought it!” She gathered her clutch and sighed, “Oh my God.” I didn’t get a chance to tell her that I would change into my other tux – off we went to The Ball.
There are no pictures of that night.
I’m not sure why.
We mingled and smiled and I was a hit. I danced and flirted and laughed and talked and ate and drank and made merry. It wasn’t my tux and I don’t think it was the fact that no one else seemed even slightly appalled at my attire, but we didn’t stay long. After an hour and a half or so she had to go change into something else (she had duties at The Ball — I think it involved the kitchen).
Without her at my side the Greek crowd wasn’t my crowd. I wandered around campus eliciting smiles for a while and then decided it was time to head to town… if the looks on campus were fun, the looks at the Exxon at the corner of Summer and East Parkway were downright hilarious… the folks at Huey’s midtown weren’t surprised at all, of course.
I changed into my tux a few months back – it still fits! I’ve been hoping for a truly formal occasion to which I can wear it…
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That is a great outfit! You could come to any party I threw wearing that.
(I know just what you mean about things screaming to be bought, which I could prove with my collection of delightfully ridiculous dresses.)